Stolen Identity

No this isn’t a post about how some hacker on the internet stole my identity. Instead it is about how my children stole it….or maybe I just gave it to them. See for 10 years, since I was pregnant with my oldest son, I have been a stay at home mom. My days, hours, minutes are spent centered around my children. Most of the friends I’ve made these last 10 years have been through my children. 

1st day 2014

Before I had kids I would have described myself as an outgoing person, an extrovert if you will. In school I always had a few close friends and LOTS of friends outside of my immediate circle. I loved the spotlight. I wanted to be a singer and an actress. Dating a senior boy on our football team that also stared in our highschool musical was a BIG deal for me (he became my husband a few years later)! Now I would describe myself as somewhat shy, more of an introvert. I tend to shy away from large groups of people, close myself off a bit from the world to focus all my energy on my children. Standing in front of a crowd, while not the worst thing in the world, is just not my idea of a fun time anymore. However, when my kids are with me I have a voice! I’ll speak to new people. Push myself to meet the other parents at sports and school.

When I first became a mom I was still ‘Lori’, doing things I loved like scrap booking while the baby napped. But slowly over the years things started to shift. I started to hide behind my kids. They became my identity. Everything I did, I did for them. I found different outlets that slowly pushed me back into being myself, like volunteering for a moms group for 7 years. Which had me putting on conferences and workshops. Or getting a job as a bookkeeper/personal assistant (with my kids in tow). HOWEVER the day to day reality was that I had given my heart AND identity to my kids.

All of this brings me to today, the day I have NO CHILDREN at home with me. My three older kids are in elementary school and my youngest started a Mother’s Day Out gymnastics school twice a week. For the first time in 10 years I am ALONE! I can spend my day doing whatever my heart desires. I should be jumping for joy and running into the hills singing, but instead I sit awkwardly not knowing what to do with myself. 

hollywood studios with kids

Here I sit, trying to push myself to take back some of my own identity. To find what in life makes me happy. Today I get to be LORI, but it will take me a while to learn who I am outside of being ‘MOM’.

MeCan any other parents relate to this? How did you go about getting your own identity back?



Comments Closed


  1. Goodness yes,, I can relate.. i’ve been home for 7 years and even though I work at home and love (sorta) what I do, I often wonder what life will be like when my now 3 year old heads off to school. Do I dare try to go back to the outside work field or stay home working. Kinda scared.

    • Yes it’s scary not having my kids with me, and contemplating whether I’ll renter the working world in a few years.

  2. Oh goodness, the few times I’ve been without all 4 of my kids, I’ve cleaned! If I planned better, I’d go to museums or restaurants the kids don’t like. Maybe take a class or two, find a new passion!
    Jen S recently posted…SweetLeaf Liquid Stevia Sweet Drops Cola Review, 30% Off Coupon + Free ShippingMy Profile

    • That is exactly what I ended up doing, cleaning! Maybe in a few weeks I’ll figure out how to plan in more “fun” things for myself like shopping and museums!

  3. Being a SAHM is great, but transition is hard. Maybe you’ll have more time to do the things you want to do — like blogging 😉
    Maybe you could become a doula? That’s what I’m working on right now (:

    • This is so very true! So far I haven’t had a ton of extra time and I transitioned into being without any little ones twice a week better than I expected. Now if I could just find more time on those days to do things I love, like blogging, instead of errands and chores. 😉

%d bloggers like this: